A CURE FOR OLYMPIC FEVER

DARE TO DREAM, BUT BE PREPARED FOR MUSCLE CRAMPS

Is there a cure for Olympic Fever? I'm so caught up in it, that I'm seriously considering training for the 2016 Summer Olympics. Okay, "seriously considering" may be a bit of an exaggeration.

Nonetheless, I can't help but get energized when I watch some of the athletes perform on the field, or in the pool or in the sand. Watching Gabby Douglas fly around on the uneven bars gets my heart pumping faster than when I hear a bag of potato chips being opened.

The U.S. women's gymnastics team was amazing. McKayla Maroney was inspiring on the vault. It made me want to tackle the pommel horse. Of course, it would be named the "pummel" horse after it would have disposed of me. I'm not that strong a gymnast.

The races in the pool have left me on the edge of my seat. Well, at least leaning up a little higher while I'm sprawled out on the couch. I have so much admiration for Michael Phelps and Missy Franklin.

I'm not sure if Phelps is the greatest Olympian ever, but you sure could make an argument for him. Franklin is just fun to watch, especially because of her bubbly personality. It almost makes me want to dive in the pool and race. The thing is, I'm not that strong a diver. And I'm not that strong a swimmer.

My sweet and beautiful stepdaughter, Katherine, who recently turned 11, thinks Phelps is good. We had a deep conversation about the U.S. swimmers not long ago.

Me: What do you think of Ryan Lochte?

Her: I think he's pretty cute.

Me: What do you think of Michael Phelps?

Her: He's good, but he's really not that cute.

Ahh, she's got a future as a swimming announcer one of these days.

SO MUCH FOR THE TIME TRIALS

There are so many Olympic events, I figured that I had to find one that would suit me.

Not long ago, we purchased bikes for the family. I climbed on Black Stallion (I just made that name up for my "hardcore" bike) and set off on an adventure. I was going to race as fast as I could, trying to gear up for the Time Trials in the next Olympics.

I think I may be a few days past my prime, because I fell out of medal contention within five minutes. I mean, I was gassed. Granted, it was hot. Sticky, even. But I think it had more to do with me not being in the best cardiovascular shape. I had some muscle cramps the next day. You see, I'm not that strong a bike rider.

MANY MORE EVENTS TO GO

Alas, there are many more events for me to try. And, if I go by sweet Katherine's theory, I have at least, at minimum, 12 more years to find my event and qualify for the Olympics.

 Her: Hey, Kev.

Me: Yes, K.

Her: You know, most people are lucky to go to the Oympics once or twice. But not for basketball.

Me: What do you mean?

Her: Well, in basketball, you can go to like 10 Olympics.

Me: Really, 10, huh? So they could play in the Olympics until they're like, what, 60?

Her: Yeah, basketball players can do that. Oh, and tennis players.

With that in mind, I'm heading to the couch with a bag of potato chips to watch the Games. I figure I don't have to get serious about my Olympic dream for another five or six years.